It has almost been a year! Man, oh man. A lot has happened (and not happened) in a year. Is it time to come back? I’ve got some thoughts and ideas but sometimes it’s difficult to throw it all back out there, out in the open.
In the brief run down, we found a great rental in West Seattle with a yard for the dog… which actually has since become dogS! We got jobs, despite more hardships that I thought any couple could handle. We started on a new path of capable medical care (including all the options and egos that come with living in a city: more to choose from but more to wade through, including that asshole eye Doctor. Oh, did you think I was done cursing? Never).
We had bumps in the road. Many times in the last year have said, “it can’t possibly get any worse” and then it did. Many times I thought, “cancer was less stressful than this.” And many times it has felt like Seattle has been chewing us up and trying to spit us out BUT we are too stubborn to dribble off.
It’s happening. Yup, it is. It starts with one little blog and then it just keeps going.
So if you’re new, well let this be a warning: if you wade through old blogs, you will quickly learn that it is fo’ real, all in, leave nothing out. You will learn things about my past and my future that you can never unlearn. You may even see me differently. But just remember that I live the same unrealistic dream as everyone else: that exactly who I am is so transparent that it couldn’t matter too much what I write here, I am me and that’s what I live up to every day. And, more importantly, what I say here is meant to help other people know and understand that life is not some magical perfection that can only travel the perfect course of track A. Life is kinda fucked up sometimes, it’s bumpy, it goes the wrong way, it takes a while for the good to come out in the wash.
I also curse a lot. And my mom still doesn’t love it. But it’s who I am. And I can’t give up who I am and what I love: yeah, I love to curse. Love. It. I tone it down when I can but I just love that horrendously ugly language.
You may not agree with everything I say or do, but it’s your choice to read. Or to not.
Still in? Perfect.
From here on out, it won’t be cancer all the time. Why? Oh, because I don’t technically have it any more! Yay!
WOAH WOAH WOAH. That’s DOES NOT mean I don’t think about it EVERY damn DAY. So, yeah, it will be in here sometimes. Because I don’t want anyone for one minute to think that because someone goes through surgeries, chemo, radiation, medication, 3 million hours in medical facilities that they are “good to go.” Cancer is a life sentence, whether it’s active or not. I spend every day thinking, “is it back?” because fucking cancer is that kind of frenemy that never really leaves… gawwwd cancer, fuck off!
But this will have a bit more variety to it. My life now is not cancer treatment all the time. It’s actually more of that thing called life. And memories and adventures. There’s still some Dr stuff. And some fucked-up-grew-up-too-fast-think-like-an-old-biddy stuff but it will be fun!
If you can stick it out, I will reward you with good times:
See ya next time!