Yes, it’s time to start fresh (re-start fresh?) and turn over a new leaf. It has been a good week. I don’t think I cried yet!
On Monday, right before chemo, I will be going into work to talk about returning part-time to my old job starting in early October. My main apprehension is working it around radiation (5 days a week for 6 weeks; roughly 2 hours time commitment each day but the radiation itself is only 5 minutes). It should be do-able and I can always reassess when the time comes. Temporary Disability Insurance stops at the end of September and to go on social security disability would mean a minimum of one year total off work; I’m not sure I need that nor can do that. My preferred option is to get back on the horse. No more focusing solely on cancer and treatment! Get the brain busy and re-focused again.
My sights are set on October 15th as my last Taxol dose. That also means no more blood tests (which, by the way, they take from my port now after being poked enough in the arm to cry mercy for my sad wounded small veins).
I’ve been swimming at the pool and try to get the puppy out for an adventure nearly every day; last Tuesday we went for a hike and I did laps! I was happily sore the next day.
I thrive much better with a schedule and calendar; I need to be committed to work and places and people. I can waste free time. And free time makes me feel guilty. That’s probably why I’ve almost always had two or three jobs. Sure, I’ve “justified” this free time with this cancer shenanigans but I realized that what’s bugging me: I feel well enough that I need to be more productive. Then I can save up for and take a much-needed vacation soon!
Oh, and, I finished antibiotics last week so I can have a cocktail every now and then! I had a mimosa the other day at breakfast, it was awesome. It was my first drink in a month. Oh, the simple things in life. Don’t take your wine for granted, folks, cherish it! Drink a red for me.
Thanks for hanging in there. Cancer sucks, I mean really really sucks. I hope that I never have to go through chemo again. I hope I did it “right” the first time. But as cancer goes, we’ll see. I found a breast cancer app for my phone and it has been really helpful to ask questions and answer other questions for people who are starting to go through it all. It’s called “Beyond the Shock.” I know there are wonderful support groups that I could join but I think this app site is more me.
It’s really hard to to have an illness/ailment/disease and not know at all what could have caused it. Sometimes I am suspect of every food in the frig; and other times I say screw it, give me the peanut butter cup ice cream and blueberry muffins and back off… my chemo drugs want this! Luckily, there’s no chemo or cancer “diet” I’m supposed to follow.
Man, I need to go grocery shopping…